December is here, and I assume Santa is tuning up the sleigh and flight-testing his reindeer for the big event this month. A dodgy elf, to whom I venmoed twenty euros for his secret dentistry school fund, told me Saint Nick is also giving marching orders to Krampus and the Belsnickel. They will deal with those not-so-good children who don’t like to be judged by an old fat guy who keeps tabs on them. If you don’t know who these two Santa mobsters are, there is a link at the bottom of the blog. Basically, these two are doing Santa’s dirty work. Yes, I’m calling Saint Nick a mob boss. Sorry, not sorry!

December is also a time when people tend to be in a giving mood. You might have read Florence Stratton’s reference to this in last week’s “Thoughts and ramblings.” As part of my research, I found many examples that suggested she had a big heart and cared about those who were less fortunate than her. The last “Susie Spindletop’s Weekly Letter,” which Bill Beaumont wrote because Florence died after undergoing surgery in January 1938, mentions her philanthropic side. Florence always gave money to those who sought her out. This was the ‘30s, and there were many people in need. One thing I will add is that this area didn’t suffer as much as the rest of the country during the Depression, but SETX wasn’t immune to the global downturn. People suffered. Bill Beaumont brought up a reference to Florence’s worries about the Chinese people. Again, this was the 1930s, and the Japanese did all kinds of things to civilians in the Chinese territories they invaded.

Florence was a single woman who lived from 1881 to 1938 and who relied on no one to feed her. Although she was not rich, she was self-sufficient and made a good living. She cared for those around her, which is why she started the Milk and Ice Fund at the Beaumont Journal in 1915. The exact date of the beginning of the Milk and Ice Fund is currently lost, but someone who cares is presently in charge of the Empty Stocking Fund at the Beaumont Enterprise, which followed Florence’s fund, and I’m happy about that! I assume that the Milk and Ice Fund began in San Antonio in 1915. There was an active fund at the San Antonio Light newspaper, and Florence had ties to San Antonio, Brazoria County, and the whole country. Throughout her life, Florence used other people’s ideas for the good of others and herself. She made a profit on her book about O. Henry’s postscripts, which rehashed old William Sydney Porter’s (O. Henry) collection of articles from the Houston Post, owned by her good friend W. P. Hobby. She also published a book entitled Favorite Recipes of Famous Women. Willie Cooper, her best friend, who was also married to W. P. Hobby, would siphon off these recipes to her. The book starts with Florence being ticked off because a man wrote Favorite Recipes of Famous Men. In her forward, she rails against this book’s recipes and its author. She was right in doing so, but I want to know what the hell is Vichy water,” which she mentions in her book. The recipe for how to boil a potato by Alice Robertson, a former congresswoman from Oklahoma, is pretty much in line with that of the original men’s book, but at least no one died, unlike when Florence tried out one of the recipes. I’ll put the full text at the bottom of this blog, but at least she gave the dog a military funeral.

I’m happy that someone at the Enterprise cares about revamping this project—it should be done. Florence would have loved this, and I’m all in if she is behind it. Thank you for your efforts in updating this charity, Kaitlin Bain.

And with this, I hand over the reins to Susie Spindletop, because no other person could rant and ramble here.

A Foreword

I am going to be frank with you. In a misguided moment I began a study of dietetics. This comes into every person’s life at some time and I was not immune. I purchased a cook book, and took it home filled with conflicting emotions.

It was assembled recipes of noted men of this country. I took the compiled ignorance of the intellectuals of America and went singing into my kitchen to indulge my gustatory proclivities on a feast of fat things.

I hummed in a business like manner as I opened the book on the page where Thomas H. Ince gives his famous recipe for chicken halibut and I sang in melodious unison with the teapot as I “boiled some slices of halibut in court bouillon.” The instructions then required that I “have a layer of bechamel on the bottom of the dish.” I have never heard of bechamel, and it sounded like a trick ad in Health Hints. I didn’t know whether it meant another fish or was a Latin name for table soda. I looked at every bottle and box in the pantry and I couldn’t find any, so I asked the cook if she had any bechamel in the house and she said: “Naw, m’m, Ah use vanilla and it’s jes’s good” So I flavored the dish well with vanilla and went back to my book for additional instructions, and found that I had to sprinkle with “parmesan.” I hadn’t heard of that. I never even dreamed that a cook required a college education. Again I turned helplessly to the cook and asked her to find me some parmesan. She looked as blank as I felt or rather as I wanted to express myself. I could have used several blanks. “We don’t never use dat stuff; jes a little coconut in it and let it brown.”

I did it.

I guess I must have let the “slices of halibut boil too long in the court bouillon.” Something was wrong. It didn’t jell. I threw it out of the window and the dog ate it.

The next day I gave the dog a military funeral.

Florence Stratton

Krampus:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus

Belsnickel:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belsnickel

Donate to the Empty Stocking Fund: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=X94T5X2AMU82S