Well, the World Cup is over, and we can all go back to work and be productive again, at least until Euro 2024 begins. As a Three Lions supporter of forty years, I assumed England would bottle it. I must say, though, that I expected more from #Cymru. Wales’s heart is strong, but the team has no depth. El Tri looked horrible going in, but Memo Ochoa will always be remembered as the heart of this team because he cares about being there. Japan were also not on their game going in, but the Samurai Blue showed up! Pride, fair play, and victory! The US looked a lot better than they have in a while, but I hate Pulisic and half the team, so here we are.

Apparently, Argentina won not thanks to Lionel Messi, but because of thousands of Argentinian witches doing their thing. I find this ridiculous as everyone knows that Strega witches are always on their game, and yet Italy didn’t even qualify for the World Cup. I guess Mount Etna was still inactive and enjoying England’s loss to Italy in Euro 2020. See, I told you England always bottles it. It’s never coming home.

Last week on “Thoughts and Ramblings,” I acknowledged my love of Tejano music. Back in the 1990s, I enjoyed a few artists—Selena, of course, followed by Emilio and Jay Perez. We’ve lost both Selena and Emilio, but Jay is still the voice! These three got me through Houston traffic in the ‘90s while I was driving a truck, usually to Julian’s Machine Shop in Sugarland. The radio would stay on 108 Super Tejano until I got back to the shop, and then it was probably pop country from my Caney Head coworkers. No, it wasn’t! There was one guy, who every damn time the song “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion came on (which was about six times a shift), would turn it up. This is why I always volunteered to drive to Houston for a pickup or delivery. To this day, I will not listen to that song, and dare anyone to play it in my presence. I still blame this on my anger management issues. Or is it my current problem with libraries taking my signage before a cemetery tour? I guess I need to delve back into some Jay Perez music to find the answer. To quote one of his songs: “Eres Tú.”

Okay, I’m just going to say that Mr. Snow Miser sucks, and I don’t want him in my area. I was always in favor of Heat Miser. Maybe it goes back to some of my DNA from Mount Etna. I want to remind everyone who wished for a “white Christmas” that the last time we had one of those we also had Hurricane Rita, in 2005. The next time it snowed was in 2008, after Hurricane Ike. It snowed three times after Harvey in 2017. Hurricanes Laura and Delta in 2020? That ice thing that happened in February 2021? Is it all related? Ancient astronaut theorists from the History Channel may agree that something is going on, but I have no idea. Do you really want it to snow? Sorry if I’m channeling the Witch of Endor, but you can’t have yin without yang. So, Saul, if you want snow, go to Sonic and buy that terrific bag of ice they sell and use in their slushies, then post videos of your dog with antler ears on Facebook. That way, we will all live Hurricane- and snow-free like we did for thirty years before Rita.

Wow, that’s a lot of football, witches, Tejano, and hurricanes/snow. Sorry, but I tend to ramble on with what I know. But it’s Christmas Day, so I guess I should mention something about SETX’s origins. Nope, I’ll let Susie Spindletop do it because she’s not as brash as me and had fewer anger management issues. Seriously now, I hope all of you and your families have a safe and happy Christmas. We’ll get into your merry New Year’s Day next week. Until then, here’s Susie getting into your family’s gossip.

Dear Della,

It is no scoop to tell you this is Christmas morning and allegedly the happiest time of year. Sometime during the night Santa paid us a visit, and left me a wealth of stuff, among it, four sets of pipe cleaners, a pair of boxing gloves, a tire tool and a trick doojigger used for shining shoes. I am not one, Della, to take the old fellow to task, for goodness knows he would pay a little more attention to his addresses he would avoid no end confusion.

I am writing him a letter with a few suggestions for next year, hoping to get in an order well ahead of time. I propose to him that he give Mr. Duff and artificial flower for his boutonniere as soon as possible, for Miss Clint’s stock of fresh flowers is sorely being sorely taxed. I propose that he give Dr. Williams a new philosophy of women, the Santa Fe switch engine that hangs around Calder a new whistle, Cecil Easley something to talk about besides golf, and the city of Beaumont more sidewalks for Willie Kinsloe to exercise on. Of course, I am mentioning a few things for myself, Della, figuring on the law of averages to produce results.

Incoming Christmas card have wished me, by actual count:

Merry Christmas, 42 times.

Happy Christmas, 24 times.

Joyous New Year, 35 times.

Prosperous New Year, 27 times.

Season’s blessings, 14 times.

An early remittance, one time.

Enjoy myself and then come around and buy some Blank insurance, two times.

A check on the First National bank, only one(I regret to say) time.

My records show that last year I was Merry Christmas-ed and prosperous New Year-ed only about two-thirds this amount, so I am sure that 1928 will bring an improvement. N’est-ce-pas? As tourists from Waxahatchie say.

Reports have it that the mistletoe crop in Texas is a dud this year and that little of the famous kiss foliage is on the market. One wonders, Della, of course, if the absence of mistletoe nowadays will slow up a party of the young-uns any.

And how long is it since you saw mistletoe hanging from a ceiling?

Had you ever stopped to think, Della, that each stage in our progress from cradle to the grave has it’s different Christmas? Old age forgets itself, the ghosts which haunt us memories, and enters into the young creatures happiness with a relish second only to the childs. The grandmother no longer wishes sleds or hoops or gingerbread monkeys for herself, but she looks with love and wonder upon little beings who respond so radiantly to these objects of domestic manufacture. Between these generations stand the parents, with their own lives of bustle and responsibility and desire, their own games and gewgaws to pursue, but yet with a beginning of the change, from living for themselves, to living in their young.

It’s a very happy Christmas and all that for me, Della, but I can’t be perfectly so until a measure has been enacted providing capital punishment for all those who still persist in writing Xmas.

Before saying good-bye, must tell you somebody gave me a subscription to “Time.”  That’s what’s worrying me now, Della.

And also in conclusion I regret to announce that there ain’t no Santa Claus.

Yours for bigger and redder cranberries. Susie

“Susie Spindletop’s Weekly Letter,” Beaumont Enterprise December 25, 1927